‘Nightcaps’ is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news, and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday-Friday on OutKick.com.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve got that Tuesday feeling, and it’s time to dig into some Nightcaps because we’ve got everything from Drake Maye’s obscene milkshake habit to an Air Jaws sighting to discuss.
I’m deputizing for the great Amber Harding, and it’s good to get back in the saddle after I had a short week last week to celebrate the wife’s birthday.
And she did it right: an Airbnb with a pool, theater, and game room that was only about 20 minutes from our regular abode, and she invited friends and family over.
Between floating in the pool and watching hockey games on the outside TV (which was slightly broken; can’t win them all) and watching the Vincent Price vehicle “The Tingler” in the theater, I had to ask myself a couple of times if it was my birthday too.
A great time was had by all, but those Airbnbs aren’t cheap, and that’s why it’s back to work for this hombre!
So, let’s dig right in.
I’m a big milkshake guy, but I like an everyman’s milkshake.
All I want is a nice, frosty chocolate shake that is thick, but not so thick that nothing comes through the straw and you pass out.
I don’t need whipped cream, wacky flavors, or half of a cherry pie sticking out and chocolate syrup squirted all over the top of the glass.
Just. A. Milkshake.
And I bet Drake Maye has similarly strong opinions because he had a bona fide milkshake problem.
In an interview with Men’s Health, the Patriots QB revealed that he is trying to cut back from as many as three shakes in a day.
SHARK WEEK SHOCKER AS GREAT WHITE BREACHES JUST YARDS FROM OBLIVIOUS BOOGIE BOARDER
And no, not protein shakes.
The fact that he was crushing that many milkshakes and is a starting quarterback in the NFL is crazy. You’d think he’d be washing himself with a rag on a stick and having to get weighed at the zoo.
Unreal. This needs to be studied by science.
Smart to cut back, but I bet he takes the occasional late-night trip down to Steak ‘N’ Shake to whet his whistle when he’s jonesing.
He’s only human.
I’m not a beach guy. That’s partially because of “Jaws” and also because I don’t like sand or when seaweed touches my foot.
However, I’ve warmed up to the beach as I’ve gotten older, but consider me out again after seeing this video of a Great White doing its best Shamu impression off the coast of California that went viral.
Now, I’m a veteran “Shark Week” watcher, so I was familiar with the phenomenon of sharks breaching and doing flips like it’s the X-Games.
I was, however, under the impression that this was something that only happened off the coast of South Africa, which was fine by me.
Now, the cartilaginous acrobatics are hitting American shores (technically, they’re still off of them, but you know what I mean).
This sort of thing never happens in pools… right?
Perhaps more so than any other position in sports, being a hockey goalie attracts a certain offbeat breed.
It makes sense. Most of us would decline if asked to put a huge chunk of the team’s fate on our shoulders while fighting off 100 mph howitzers.
That’s how you wind up with Ilya Bryzgalov talking about the “hu-mang-ous big” universe, or Gilles “Gratoony the Loony” Gratton believing he’s a reincarnated conquistador and sitting out a game because the moon was in the wrong part of the sky.
Let’s add Calgary Flames netminder Devin Cooley to this list. It’s been a slow start to the season, but Cooley played well in their recent win over the Carolina Hurricanes, and followed it up with some stellar interviews off of it.
I mean, that felt more like a psych lecture than the usual “We just need to go out and get pucks deep” brand of hockey interview, and I’m all about it.
There’s more where that came from, and apparently, Cooley’s teammates all run to the TV when he does an interview, and I think you can see why.
Great stuff. Hockey needs more of this.
It sounds like Jay Z has hired himself for the Super Bowl halftime show.
I’ve not been a fan of his work with the Super Bowl halftime show over the last few years. Save for the one with Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, and Dr. Dre, most have been forgettable as far as the production is concerned.
I mean, can anyone remember any specific moments from them since he started in 2019? Not really.
There hasn’t been any Prince guitar solo, Bob Ross-looking slackline guy, or Janet Jackson nipple to speak of.
Nonetheless, I like some of his tunes, and I kind of respect the audacity to be like, “Alright, the best person to do this is… me.”
I wish I had more of that.
Still, it wouldn’t be a Super Bowl halftime show if we didn’t go over some acts that would’ve been great to see instead.
Metallica -Whenever the idea of a rock band doing Super Bowl halftime show duties comes up, ‘Tallica is always first. They like big, unusual gigs. That’s why they played in Antarctica and are currently in the midst of a Sphere residency. Speaking of which, have you seen what they do when they play “The Call of Ktulu” there?
Bring that level of show to the Super Bowl.
Foo Fighters – If Metallica is busy, the next number most people call when they need a rock and/or metal band is Dave Grohl and Co., and I think they could do it. They’ve got plenty of hits and bring the energy as well as any band out there. Trying not to sing along with “Monkey Wrench.” You can’t.
Jack White – Now, I know he’s got a sprinkling of TDS, but the man’s repertoire speaks for itself. Plus, he played the Thanksgiving halftime show in Detroit just last year to rave reviews. Maybe he brings Meg White out for “Seven Nation Army” or something. It would be awesome.
The Muppets – Everyone would love this, and if you want to see 65,000 people weeping, just let Kermit the Frog whip out his banjo and uncork a stirring rendition of “Rainbow Connection.”
Any country artist – I looked it up, and there have been some sporadic country artists over the years, like Shania Twain in 2003, and a full-fledged country-fied halftime show in the mid-1990s. But as big as country music has gotten, how has this not happened again? There are plenty who could handle it. Hell, Ella Langley has been annihilating the Billboard charts lately. Trot Chris Stapleton out there for a few songs with special guests, and I can assure you, there will be no complaints.
Still, best of luck to Jay Z, and what are the odds we get a Kanye cameo?
I’m going to guess quite low.
I’m really looking forward to the World Series, because I’m psyched to see a new franchise win a World Series, but I’m torn on one aspect of it.
The indoors-ed-ness.
This has the potential to be the first completely indoor World Series ever.
Obviously, Tropicana Field is indoors, while American Family Field has a roof that can be opened and closed.
This is great for getting the series played on time… but it still feels wrong.
I don’t like this trend we’re seeing with more and more teams moving inside. Sure, I get the logistics and the financial upsides, but who doesn’t get excited to see a football game in snow or a World Series game where you can see the players’ breath.
I’ll tell you: no one.
I hope the folks in Milwaukee come to their senses and pop the roof open if the weather is clear but cold.
Give the people what they want, and maybe a little icing on that slide will help Bernie get a little extra speed.
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That’s it for this edition of Nightcaps! See you tomorrow!
